So, yeah. Hi. Wow!
Been quiet around here, hasn't it? Let me explain.
Around the time I made my last blog entry, I lost my job. Not the end of the world (there are many jobs out there) but as it was from a company I had worked at for almost 17 years, I was at a bit of a loss.
I tried to keep up my writing - but the stress made it impossible for me to focus on my novel. "Shadow Cabinet", Book 3 of The Sleepwar Saga. I put enough pressure on myself in my writing as it is; the financial burdens I was suffering under did not help this any.
So, I put it aside. For a bit. Just until I recovered. I was having severe anxiety episodes, unable to really even leave the apartment for a while. Not good stuff.
But I intended to return.
With each passing day, however, it became more and more obvious that I wouldn't be able to get stuck back in any time soon. The longer I left it, the more pressure I felt on the subject. I could/can barely hop on Twitter - which is my writing account - because I instantly feel that anxiety.
Because I have associated that feeling with this book. With my writing "persona". This mess all happened at the time I was making inroads to the third book in my series, and all of the feelings and the trauma are tied into that. Into me as a writer.
Oh, I've kept up writing. Sort of. Not wanting to fall out of the habit, I began to bash out quick short stories that barely held together - just to maintain my abilities. Nothing of any quality - but some were decent enough for me to put out into the world under a pseudonym, and have received a small response.
Yet still, every time I think about my "real" books, or my official authorial presence on Twitter, I feel the bite of that anxiety. Seizing my heart, pounding inside my head.
Enough is enough. I want this feeling gone. I want to get back to the stories I love.
So, right now I am in the process of rereading (and making minor tweaks to) the first draft of "Cogs & Cognizance" (a clockpunk Jane Austen tribute) before sending to beta readers. And once it's out there, I fully intend to get back to the draft of "Shadow Cabinet".
My boss at work has recently devoured the first two books in The Sleepwar Saga, and that gives me courage. I want to do this.
I can do this!
By the end of 2019 I will have "Cogs & Cognizance" out on Amazon - and at the very least will have "Shadow Cabinet" with beta readers. Though I'd love to have the final draft done by year's end, too.
This I swear, and putting it on the internet makes it true and official (or so I hear).
Welcome back to my world! I've missed you all.