My name is Doug, and I am an addict.
It's been four days since my last adverb. Already I find my fingers itchy, desperate to type that beautiful "-ly" at the end of of a word.
Adverbs are not inherently bad; I know this. Used in moderation they are descriptive and poetic. But I know I can never use just one.
Sure, it starts with a "softly" or a "wryly". But before you know it the adverbs are spilling off of the screen and I wake up in a pile of my own vomit, staring at the page I have written in my stupor:
"Hi there," said Fred breezily.
"Hello," Jennifer replied flatly.
Frowning, Fred delicately inquired, "Is everything okay?"
She sighed. "I guess," Jennifer answered despondently.
Friends don't let friends abuse adverbs. I need your help.
It's a struggle, but if I can get through today without an adverb, I know maybe I can do the same again tomorrow. And then the next day. And the next.
One sentence at a time, my friends. One sentence at a time...